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An moment with Mr.s Daon & Storm

Tue Sep 1, 2009, 12:10 AM
I plan to have another Necromechanis entry posted relatively soon. In the meantime, enjoy the suffering of Mr. Patrick Marquis, and the contrasting hilarity of Mr. Tristan Daon and Mr. Nathaniel Storm.

___

[tape begins] Okay then, I have with me today for a special interview the current and former High Wardens of the Baristod Tribunal, Mr.s Nathaniel Storm and Tristan Daon.

T: Hey there!
N: Hello.

So, gentlemen, I understand that you were recently involved in the liberation of Vyron from Relagian forces.

N: That's correct. We were able to-
T: Damn straight, skippy! I went two-on-one with an Overseer and a devastator! You hear me? A friggin' devastator!

Really?

N: Tristan, let's not get carried away with ourselves
T: What's that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of the raging flow of awesome that runs through my veins.
N: Oh, boy...

Let's not get carried away now. Shall we start the interview?

T: Go ahead.
N: Please.

Mandatory Questions


1. What about you is heroic?
T: We're Wardens. We keep the peace across the center nations.
N: Indeed. You could call us the final word on justice in Juantir, Arkos, and Baristod.

2. What about you is social? What do you like about people?
T: I find the act of being among various groups of people an enlightening and enjoyable experience.
N: I agree. It's always great to learn something new.

3. Of what benefit could you be to the current group?
T: I'm the captain of my crew. Without me, they fall to pieces.
N: I actually want to talk to you about that... oh, and I'm the highest ranking field agent in the Tribunal.

4. Why would you choose to join the current group?
T: I didn't "choose" nothing! Somewhat in bookkeeping managed to mistake me for a corpse and I got kicked out of the Tribunal! Now I run around with a group of degenerates keeping this little brat from being hacked to pieces.
N: I wanted to tell you that I could have you re-instated-
T: Not now.

5. Invent an adventure/plot that your character would actively undertake (as opposed to just tagging along)?
T: : Plot just finds me! I can just be going to get a drink, and some eight-hundred pound gorilla will smash my face in for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend some years back!
N: : *sigh* If I had to choose, I'd say that the two of us would probably partake in some treasure hunt. Perhaps the lost gold of King Miidaeus?

Personal Questions


1. What is your real, birth name? What name do you use?
T: Tristan L. Daon. The "L" stands for Landon, and I go by my first name.
N: Nathaniel Storm. My friends call me Nathan.

2. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it?
T: My crew calls me "Captain" or "sir". If you're a lady, you can use the former of those two in a more... intimate context.
N: Didn't they used to call you "L for 'lightweight' " back at the academy.
T: Shut up. Your middle name's "Ocher".
N: I fail to see how that's embarrassing.

3. What do you look like? (Include height, weight, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features)
T: I'm two meters tall (six feet) with green eyes brown hair. I'm twenty-six years old, and my skin's fairly light. I've also got this black, chitonous glove-thing stuck to my arm at the moment. I'm doing my best to try and get it off.
N: Also two meters tall, with brown eyes and blonde hair. Twenty-five years old, and my pyromancing leaves me with tanned skin.

4. How do you dress most of the time?
T: I have this brown jacket with scarlet lining that I enjoy very much.
N: I prefer the black coat that is standard uniform for us Wardens.

5. How do you "dress up?"
T: Please don't ask. I had a bad experience with dressing fancy this past week.
N: Well, aren't we sensitive? I would comb back my hair to guss up for that sort of social gathering.

6. How do you "dress down?"
T: I don't bathe.
N: I wear less- wait. Did you bathe today?

7. What do you wear when you go to sleep?
T: Depends on who I'm going to sleep with.
N: I fail to see how that's relevant.

8. Do you wear any jewelry?
T: Do I look like a queer?
N: I have a necklace. It's a memento of a woman I once knew.
T: Oh not this again...

9. In your opinion, what is your best feature?
T: My way with words.
N: My level head... and never let Tristan talk you into anything, by the way.

10. What's your real birth date?
T: I didn't know you could have a fake birthdate... I was (presumably) born on the 29th Day of Bialkon, in the year 1936 AR.
N: I was born on the 14th day of Hexamos, 1937 AR.

11. Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?
T: ...I'm somewhat in the market, at the moment. Someone blew my last home up.
N: Ouch. I'm fairly neat, but own only what is useful.

12. Do you own a car? Describe it.
T: Who uses a car in lieu of an airship?
N: I have no idea.

13. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?
N: Again, my necklace.
T: I don't do mundane. I prefer a great measure of glory in the things I own.

14. What one word best describes you?
T: Magnificent.
N: Dedicated.

Familial Questions


1. What was your family like?
T: Didn't have a biological family. I was raised alongside this mofo. Turned me into the model citizen I am today.
N: Har har. Though my mother died when I was very small, my father was a very supportive and mentoring man... and Tristan is an excellent surrogate brother.

2. Who was your father, and what was he like?
N: See above.
T: I never knew my parents. I was raised by Nathan's dad.

3. Who was your mother, and what was she like?
N: Again, see above.
T: Ditto.

4. What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?
N: Now you're just being redundant.
T: And we hate people who repeat themselves.

5. What were your siblings names? What were they like?
N: Tristan: excitable.
T: Nathan: brown-noser.

6. What's the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What's the worst thing you've done to one of your siblings?
N: One time I glued Tristan's hands to his hair. My dad had to shave him bald to remedy it. It was hilarious.
T: Oh yeah? Well I slept with your girlfriend in our eighth year at the academy.
N: ...yes, Tristan. That was why we broke up.

7. When's the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now?
N: My father... passed away a few years ago. I was in a coma at the time. I never got to say goodbye.
T: ...no coment.

8. Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them?
T: Remember your cousin, Merilyn?
N: Oh, Taef, I hated her!
T: I know, right! She was always such a stuck up brat!
N: Remember when we put that bellsnake in her toy-carriage?
T: That was hilarious.

Childhood Questions


1. What is your first memory?
T: Rain... and thunder.
N: I remember the warmth of my mother's arms.

2. What was your favorite toy?
T & N: Toy sword.

3. What was your favorite game?
T & N: Mock sword fighting.

4. Any non-family member adults stick out in your mind? Who were they, and how did you know them? Why do they stick out?
T: The Grand Magistrates, besides Nathan's dad.
N: They were technically our bosses.

5. Who was your best friend when you were growing up?
T: This mofo right here!
N: Tristan. Doubtlessly.

6. What is your fondest, childhood memory?
T: When Nathan's mom was still alive, she took us out to this amazing grotto in the Inner Ring. It was filled with jewelfish, and when we went swimming they'd scatter everywhere and light the water ablaze with sparkly light.
N: I'd... have to agree.

7. What is your worst childhood memory?
N: ...my mother's death.
T: Mine's related to his. His mom was murdered. I killed the man who'd done it. I was nine years old at the time.

Adolescent Questions


1. How old were you when you went on your first date?
N: My first date was at the age of twelve, believe or not.
T: Believe it. Nate here used to be a regular Casanova... course I ended up sleeping with his girlfriends, more often than not-
N: Thank you, Tristan.

2. It is common for one's view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it?
T: Those who exact justice are those who may interpret it.
N: That is the third credo of the Wardens.

3. What were you like in high school? What "clique" did you best fit in with?
T: We went to special military Warden training school.
N: Not too many "cliques" there... though there were gangs and groups.

4. What were your high school goals?
T & N: Become High Warden.

5. Who was your idol when you were growing up? Who did you first fantasize about in your life?
T: Fantasize about?
N: ...in what context?

6. What is your favorite memory from adolescence?
T: My first legitimate girlfriend. We were fifteen, and our love was clumsy. Adorably so... her name was Briyanna.
N: ...no comment.

7. What is your worst memory from adolescence?
N: The first man I ever killed. Someone tried to abduct me to blackmail my father. He grabbed Tristan by mistake. I hunted him down and made him pay with his life.
T: That shit was terrifying.


Occupational Questions


1. Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from?
T: I'm currently unemployed by definition, though I find work where I need to.
N: I am the High Warden of the Tribunal.

2. What is your boss or employer like? (Or publisher, or agent, or whatever.)
T: I'm my own boss. It's rad.
N: The Grand Magistrates are often... taxing on one's patience.

3. What are your co-workers like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? Which ones don't you get along with?
T: Though I enjoy my original crew very much, there's this one redheaded newcomer that tends to make me want to wring her throat.
N: Oh, so it's a girl then?
T: Quiet.

4. What is something you had to learn that you hated?
T: How to survive on my own.
N: How to accept things beyond my power.

5. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?
T: ...when I have it, yes I spend it. On food.
N: The government pays for my expenses.

Likes & Dislikes Questions


1. What hobbies do you have?
T: Um... cleaning my sword?
N: ...yeah. I'm going to go with him.

2. Who is your closest mundane friend? Describe them and how you relate to them.
T: I don't do mundane.
N: I don't have mundane friends.

3. Who is your worst mundane enemy? Describe them and why you don't get along.
T: There's this one guy I know: his name's Murdoc, and he's a double-crossing son-of-a-whore that refuses to pay what's owed.
N: Murdoc? Like the gangster.
T: Next question, please?

4. What bands do you like? Do you even pay attention?
T: Music's in my head.
N: I don't listen to many bands.

5. What tape or CD hasn't left your player since your purchased it? Why?
T: CDs? Do they make those any more?
N: I don't think so...

6. What song is "your song?" Why?
T: If I had to guess, I'd say "Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva or "Counting Bodies Like Sheep" by A Perfect Circle.
N: Saliva? Oh, um... "Propane Nightmares" by Pendulum.

7. What's been your favorite movie of all time?
T: Haven't seen many movies.
N: Me neither.

8. Read any good books? What were they?
T: I once read "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass". I enjoyed both.
N: Wasn't the guy who wrote those on opium the whole time?

9. What do you watch on the Television?
T: "Television"?
N: Is that like a telesphere?

10. When it comes to mundane politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don't you care?
N: We partake in politics directly.
T: Violently, if need be.
N: Tristan...

11. What type of places do you hang out in with your mundane friends?
T: I don't do mundane.
N: I don't have time for "hanging out".

12. What type of places do you hang out in with your normal friends?
N: As I said I don't-
T: Hey what do you say that after this we head out and paint the town red?

13. What annoys you more than anything else?
T: Smart-mouth redheads.
N: That's awfully specific. Oh... liars.

14. What would be the perfect gift for you?
T: Cash.
N: Something of sentimental value.

15. What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
T: ...I don't do beauty.
N: ...her name was Briyanna.

16. What time of day is your favorite?
T: Dusk.
N: Dawn.

17. What kind of weather is your favorite?
T: Rainy.
N: Sunny.

18. What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food?
T: Respectively: pasta with meatballs and grilled tulk.
N: I eat what is given to me.

19. What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.)
T: Alcoholic.
N: Tea.

20. What's your favorite animal? Why?
T: Wolves. I see them in a strange kinship.
N: A cat. They are graceful and patient, yet lethal with the right provocation, like myself.
T: To mice maybe.
N: Shut up.

21. Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?
T & N: No.

22. What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.)
N: Meditating
T: Ditto.

23. What habit that others have annoys you most?
T: People who dance around the subject.
N: "Ditto".

24. What kind of things embarrass you? Why?
T: I have no shame.
N: I do: it's you.

25. What don't you like about yourself?
T: My magnetism for danger.
N: ...my inability to control events greater than myself.

26. How would you like to look?
T: I wouldn't "like to look" some way, I just do look that way.
N: I wish I had darker hair

Sex & Intimacy Questions


1. Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?
T: Straight.
N: ...I don't think this is appropriate.

2. Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? What was it like? How well did it go?
T: His girlfriend in the eighth year, and was exhilarating.
N: ...definitely not appropriate.

3. Have you ever had a same-sex experience? Who with, what was it like, and how did it go?
T: NO.
N: ...perhaps we could try another topic?

4. What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy? Would you ever try it?

[the tape for a moment at this section]
T:
-at that point rub the oil in the aforementioned areas and let nature take it's course!
N: Oh good lord!

5. What was the wildest thing you've ever done, sexually? Who was it with and when did it happen?
T: Hehehe... I show you later, sweetheart... you're a girl, right?
N: You can't tell?

6. Is there any sexual activity that you enjoy and/or practice regularly that can be considered non-standard? (Bondage, Fantasy Play, etc.) Why do you like it?
T: Well, it's rather low-light in here, so it's kind of hard to make out the finer details of a person.
N: How can you misconstrue a gender?

7. Is there any sexual activity that you will not, under any circumstances, do?
T: I just told you how!
N: Sometimes, Tristan...

8. Do you currently have a lover? What is their name, and what is your relationship like? What are they like? Why are you attracted to them?
T: Nope. I'm available... ladies...
N: ...I've not been romantically active for some time now...

9. What is the perfect romantic date?
T: One that ends in cuddling.
N: Cuddling?
T: What? I can be tender too.

10. Describe the perfect romantic partner for you.
T: Red hair is a must.
N: ...her name was Briyanna.

11. Do you ever want to get married and have children? When do you see this happening?
T: I don't see myself as the father type.
N: I did... with her...

12. What is more important - sex or intimacy? Why?
T: Fun fact: sex and intimacy go hand in hand. One without the other is either painful or boring.
N: ...

13. What was your most recent relationship like? Who was it with? (Does not need to be sexual, merely romantic.)
N: I was involved with Briyanna a few years ago-
T: Will you get over it already? Criminy!
N: You have no room to talk here!

14. What's the worst thing you've done to someone you loved?
N: I couldn't
T: Let me guess: "I couldn't protect her when she needed me."

If you don't mind me asking, what happened to this "Briyanna"?

T: Hm? She was shot.

By Relagians.

T: No. By me.


Drug & Alcohol Questions

[the interview cuts out here]


1. How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like?
Did anything good come out of it? Did anything bad come out of it?
2. Do you drink on any kind of regular basis?
3. What kind of alcohol do you prefer?
4. Have you ever tried any other kind of "mood altering" substance? Which one(s)? What did you think of each?
5. What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any people should not do? Why or why not?


Morality Questions]
[the tape resumes]


1. What one act in your past are you most ashamed of? What one act in your past are you most proud of?
T: Admittedly, the aforementioned death of Briyanna.
N: Her death allowed us to quell the Garduul uprising. We are proud of that.

2. Have you ever been in an argument before? Over what, with who, and who won?
T: There are far too many to count.
N: Ditto.

3. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won?
N: See above.
T: Speak for yourself. I remember every fight I was ever in... though they're too many to recount.

4. What do you feel most strongly about?
T: Self-preservation.
N: Justice.

5. What do you pretend to feel strongly about, just to impress people?
T: Looking good while doing it.
N: I do not "impress". I just do.

6. What trait do you find most admirable, and how often do you find it?
T: Telling the truth... though that's somewhat hypocritical of me.
N: I agree with Tristan.

7. Is there anything you think should not be incorporated into the media or art (sex, violence, greed, etc.,)? If so, what and why, and if not, why not?
T: Tell the truth; show the truth.

8. Do you have any feelings in general that you are disturbed by? What are they? Why do they disturb you?
T: I don't get love/hate. It's contradictory.
N: Love follows no logic, Tristan.

9. What is your religious view of things? What religion, if any, do you call your own?
T: Don't care.
N: Does not concern me.

10. Do you think the future is hopeful? Why?
N: Yes, because I am here to ensure it.

11. Is an ounce of prevention really worth a pound of cure? Which is more valuable? Why do you feel this way?
T: I don't get the question.
N: I agree

12. What's the worst thing that can be done to another person? Why?
T: Letting them live in dishonor.
N: That is the ultimate warrior's insult.

13. What's the worst thing you could actually do to someone you hated?
T: See above.

14. Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? If you think the whole leader-follower archetype is a crock of shit, say so, and explain why?
T & N: Leader.


15. What is your responsibility to the world, if any? Why do you think that?
T: Let the world do as it will. It's done fine like that for the two millennia.
N: I must work to ensure a world free of oppression.

16. Do you think redemption is possible? If so, can anyone be redeemed, or are there only certain circumstances that can be? If not, why do you think nothing can redeem itself?
T: If one wants redemption, then it's certainly attainable.
N: It's a matter of self.

17. Is it okay for you to cry? When was the last time you cried?
T: Can't remember.
N: I have no more tears.

18. What do you think is wrong with MOST people, overall?
N: They don't care.
T: Neither do I.

Post-Supernatural Awareness Questions


1. When did you go through whatever made you supernatural? What was it like (in your opinion)?
T: Do you mean ultranatural? Well I'm not.
N: I am a pyromancer. I can control flame itself.

2. What do you think now of being supernatural? Is it cool, or have you been screwed?
N: It is mere genetics.

3. Do you have a mentor? Who are they? How did you become their student?
N: I was taught at the academy.

4. Do you have any magical items? Where did you get them?
T: Magic? What are you, five?
N: Magic is taboo.

5. What do you think of the other denizens of the World of Darkness? Why for each? (If you haven't met something, do you think it exists, and if it does, is that bad or good?)
N: World of Darkness?
T: Do you mean the noctambulo? Are you a bigot? I may be a heartless bastard, but I do not respond well to racism!

6. Think of a major event that happened during your training/initiation. What was it?
N: Nothing comes to mind.

7. What is something you had to learn during your training that you hated? Why did you hate it?
N: I've already been asked this question.

Miscellaneous Questions


1. What is the thing that has frightened you most? Do you think there is anything out there that's scarier than that? What do you think that would be?
T: I fear nothing.
N: Worse than losing those you love is discovering there is only one ma- person you still value.

2. Has anyone or anything you've ever cared about died? How did you feel about it? What happened?
T: ...seriously?

3. What was the worst injury you've ever received? How did it happen?
T: I had a building dropped on my head a week ago.
N: I once- you what?

4. How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?
T: No.
N: Yes you are.

5. What is your current long term goal?
T: Survive.
N: Find an end to this war.

6. What is your current short term goal?
T: Get Belle where she needs to go.
N: Finish this interview.

7. Do you have any bad habits? If so, what are they, and do you plan to get rid of them?
T: I'm too awesome.
N: I have expunged personal flaw from myself already.

8. If you were a mundane person, what would you do with your life? What occupation would you want, and how would you spend all your time?
T: I. Don't. Do. Mundane.
N: I can't fathom such a life.

9. What time period do you wish you had lived in? Why? (Looking at this as an attempt to change history doesn't count.) What appeals to you about this era?
N: This one's fine
T: Ditto.

10. How private of a person are you? Why?
T: I had this interview, didn't I?

11. If you were to gain an obscenely large sum of money (via an inhertiance, a lawsuit, a lottery, or anything else) what would you do with it?
T: ...I think I just had a greedgasm.
N: Give it to those who deserve it.

12. What would you wish for if you found a genie?
T: More wishes.
N: A better world.

13. What do you do when you are bored?
T: With my life, I'm rarely bored.
N: I will meditate.

14. What is the most frightening potential handicap or disfigurement you can conceive of? What makes it so frightening?
T: No hands.
N: You can't hold a sword without any hands.

---

Nonsensical Quote of the Entry

"GASP! Someone just stole the shiny, green belt!"
"You're a shiny, green belt. Shut up."


---

LM's list of artists who are GOD:

:iconnayruasukei::iconrynnay::iconendling::iconyourpleasantdarkness::icontanukikyuubi:
:iconjubilations::iconhaveconquest::icono-mie::icontyshea::icontidus-backlash:
:iconblithegirl::iconwen-m::iconosy057::iconjc-of-the-redflame::iconhideyoshi:
:iconmattbachnick::iconkirbopher15::iconpsyguy::iconcailencrow::icontlwelker:

  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Heroes vs Villains Soundtrack
  • Reading: what I just wrote
  • Watching: the monitor

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